New poems will appear here until the time when they are deemed old poems and then they will not appear here any more.
'Specsavers' by Johnny Jenkins
'He should have gone to Specsavers!' quipped Maureen.
Because instead of buying himself new glasses
Tony had walked up to the M62 and hurled himself off that bridge.
Because instead of buying himself new glasses
Tony had walked up to the M62 and hurled himself off that bridge.
'HRH QEII' by Johnny Jenkins
Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth the Second.
Yes, it had quite a ring to it
Thought Donald as he headed down to the deed-poll office.
Yes, it had quite a ring to it
Thought Donald as he headed down to the deed-poll office.
'Chicken' by Johnny Jenkins
Kim loved Nandos.
She never stopped bloody going on about it.
She'd been enough times to get six and a half thousand free whole chickens.
A hundred and fifteen shoeboxes of loyalty cards.
As they divided them up, her daughters couldn't help admitting they thought they'd do better out of the inheritance.
She never stopped bloody going on about it.
She'd been enough times to get six and a half thousand free whole chickens.
A hundred and fifteen shoeboxes of loyalty cards.
As they divided them up, her daughters couldn't help admitting they thought they'd do better out of the inheritance.
'Pea' by Johnny Jenkins
'I'll have a pea please, Bob!'
Laughed Mrs Holness over the Sunday beef.
Bob slapped her hard around the face.
Laughed Mrs Holness over the Sunday beef.
Bob slapped her hard around the face.
U.N. Resolution by Johnny Jenkins
Ban Ki Moon
Came really soon
In all his masturbations.
The soggy biscuit champion
Of the United Nations.
Came really soon
In all his masturbations.
The soggy biscuit champion
Of the United Nations.
'Racism' by Johnny Jenkins
Conrad despised racism.
Couldn't stand it.
He painted all his chess pieces grey.
The game didn't work any more.
But perhaps that was the point.
Couldn't stand it.
He painted all his chess pieces grey.
The game didn't work any more.
But perhaps that was the point.
'Zlargon' by Johnny Jenkins
Qworg opened his Zlargon app and checked Wwiblo's status.
'Flujbakking'.
Qworf was devastated.
He tried to distract himself by playing Jwimdy on his Uwgroid, but it didn't help.
Couldn't even get past Level 3,
The one the with the Xurfuls.
Could things get any worse?!
He ate a sausage roll and cried himself to sleep.
'Flujbakking'.
Qworf was devastated.
He tried to distract himself by playing Jwimdy on his Uwgroid, but it didn't help.
Couldn't even get past Level 3,
The one the with the Xurfuls.
Could things get any worse?!
He ate a sausage roll and cried himself to sleep.
'A Glass Of Wine' by Johnny Jenkins
A glass of wine never killed anybody.
Except Murphy,
The homicidal tumbler of Malbec.
Jenny closed her laptop.
Coming up with film ideas was trickier than she'd expected.
Except Murphy,
The homicidal tumbler of Malbec.
Jenny closed her laptop.
Coming up with film ideas was trickier than she'd expected.